It didn’t turn out how I imagined it would. There were no sparks, no fireworks, no bangs, no explosions of glee and happiness. There was the hollowness. The emptiness. The numbness. The fact it meant nothing. The realisation that it never will.
I don’t know how to react. I don’t know how to think, how to act, what to do. All I know is that it’s made it’s mark on me. A mark that will never fade.
Oh, how the sorrow refuses to fade…

flimzy:

I think a part of us will always stay in the past. Weeping and wishing things were different. And perhaps that’s what make the present so hard, because once we experience something, it just stays in the back of our head, and replays itself over and over, to the point where we feel so disconnected, that we want to leave this world of hell, which we’ve made it with our own actions. 

A fool
that’s what I am
for letting you in

An idiot
that’s what I am
for letting you take over

A stupid, little girl
that’s what I am
for believing in the impossible

A worthless human being
with little worth
made up of worthlessness 

Why does the sweet, sweet taste of you suddenly taste so bitter? 

Three years
I’ve watched
I’ve waited
in the shadows
in the darkness

Three years
I’ve longed
and prayed
for you to open
your eyes
and see

Three years
I’ve held back
kept my mouth
shut
kept my tongue
tied
kept my butterflies
trapped inside
their cage

Three years
I’ve loved you
wanted you
breathed you

Three years
was such
a fucking
waste of time 

I know it was a mistake,
but do you fancy a retake? 

She broke up with you. Shouldn’t I be happy? I’ve sacrificed what I had for you. You keep going on about her though and I try and act like I’m interested to hear the compassion in your voice, but I’m not, oh how I’m not. I’d tell you to move on, but it’s not that easy. I know that as a fact, I haven’t yet moved on…